Thursday, 17 March 2011

Profound thoughts


Great writers and thinkers are always banging on about having their most profound thoughts while walking in nature. And so it is with Eliza H. Gray®. The problem is, the thoughts fly out of my head before I can write them down. Hence, am walking along the top of Mistle Hill, watching the skylarks ascending while talking into my iPhone. Except I… Why does Dusty keep stopping? Come on Dusty! Maybe it’s because I’m talking to myself. She thinks I’ve turned into a witch or something..

Anyway, as I was saying, the thing is…


What the hell was that? They can’t be shooting up here. It’s common land. Surrounded by farmland. Maybe it’s one of those modern scarecrows. What’s wrong with a stick man in an old hat?

Anyway, as I was saying, I’ve discovered this brilliant new app, Dragon Dictation, which means my blog will literally write itself. All I do is tap and dictate! For example: ‘Dusty’s catching flies with a snap of her jaws.’ Press ‘Done’ and bob’s your uncle: ‘Dirty catching lines snapped Rachel is.’ What? OK, try again. Tap and dictate. ’Dusty’s catching flies with a snap of her jaws.’ Done. ‘In my knee catching flu live music snap of her she walls.’ Honestly. This is hopeless.

Anyway, I’ve been walking o’er vale and hill, creating my Personal Mission Statement in my head. Meredith says it should capture who I am and how I should live my life, through my values and beliefs. It will give me a sense of purpose and direction, she says. Damn. I had it earlier. Something to do with Being True to Oneself and Niceness. You see, I have these profound thoughts, but the minute they come out of my mouth or the end of my fingers as words, they go all misty, like when you’re trying to recount a dream. What I need is something that reads your thoughts and transfers them direct to the page. Yes! That would be the most brilliant invention! Mind to Manuscript!

Race down hill full of enthusiasm and glass-half-fullness. Can’t wait to blog my brilliant invention! Arrive breathless and about to kick sticky front gate open when set eyes on car. You can’t read the rear number plate for mud. Meredith says everything I do should be congruent with my life purpose. Hmmm. Is washing the car congruent with Niceness? Yes, it’s a service to other road-users.


Marvellous. Decided it was only going to get dirty again, so just cleaned number plates and lights. 

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